What Kind of Player are You?


Sarah Darkmagic - Posted on 21 December 2011

Yesterday, I came across this, in my opinion, awesome video, "Gamer Girl Manifesto."

Do I 100% agree with everything about or in the video? No. I'm not a big fan of pwning newbies and I find the frequent use of the word girl instead of women a bit annoying at times, but overall, it's a message I can agree with. In short form, their manifesto is this:

Don't be racist. Don't be homophobic. Don't be sexist. Follow that code and everybody will have a good time. And when someone breaks that code, CALL THEM OUT. Don't just let it ride.

In my mind, this is a longer form of Wil Wheaton's "Don't be a Dick."

Apparently, some people can't grasp the longer form either. Two people left inappropriate comments on my G+ post within hours of me sharing it. The first left these gems.

I agree with the "Don't be a Perv", but as for everything else these chicks need to just grow some skin and put up or shut up.

I deleted the comment and left a comment that the G+ post was my space and that I will police it. Which lead to this:

Because you haven't got the guts to face reality.

Men shouldn't be perv's. But woman need to learn their are things they just can't do. Just like I can't carry a baby to term, no woman has a place on the battle field.

If you don't want to hear the truth, then don't post on the internet.

Awesome, the price for me just being who I am is that I have to subject myself and everyone else to these comments. Except, no, it doesn't. I can delete, which is what I did. And that led to this awesome nugget. I'm editing out a bit about women in the military and clotting factors because, well, it has absolutely nothing to do with the video.

First off, this is [woman's name], [man's name]'s wife, posting. My man has a job, and takes good care of his family so that I don't have to work outside the home.

So now I ask. Why do you hate women? Why do you want to place the curse of men upon our shoulders? Why do you want to take away our grace and genialness, only to replace it with labor and strife?

...

Delete this post again, And I will just repost it again and again.

So, yeah, awesome. Not only do I have to subject myself to those types of comments, this person has a right to harass me. I of course deleted that post and then blocked the account, because, well, I made it clear those comments were unwelcome and it's my space. Continuing to post those comments after I set my boundaries is a clear lack of respect for me as a person.

Besides, whether or not it's the guy or his wife (every online profile lists him as single), they clearly have a G+ account of their own where they can say whatever they want. And after I deleted the last comment and blocked the account, a message similar to this one showed up on that account. I'm not a government. I am under no obligations to give them a stage.

I have to admit, the second person bothered me a bit more even though so far it wasn't an ongoing process. The comment? A single word:

gay.

Seriously.

Now, you might ask why I wrote about this. I mean, I dealt with it on G+; no one would have to know their message beyond the small group who may have seen it there. The problem is that I often run into people who say that they never see any sort of sexism in the hobby or industry. Well, the person with the G+ account in the first comment calls himself a game designer and has at least 2 gaming companies (neither of which I had heard of before) listed in his various online profiles, including one with products on DriveThruRPG. A third, seemingly new company, has him on their list of game developers. At least 4 of my friends in the industry have him as a friend on Facebook.

If I were newer or didn't have as many friends in the industry side of things as I do, I might have thought he was representative of the rest of the industry. When you have those friendships, it's easy to dismiss these as people who aren't quite right or have an axe to grind. There's comfort in knowing your friends and how awesome they are. However, letting these comments exist and not taking a stand about it means that people who don't have that comfort often suffer and are turned away.

tags

We can't all be the self-proclaimed, future king of a Pacific Northwest State of the Union.

You did good, don't worry about it. :)

-Ben.

I liked the video. i inderstand most of what was siad other than "pwning newbies". this lost me.
I myself have an xbox but i do not go and play online as i can not handle the abuse i have heard and had in the past. I avoid it. i known i could be missing out on some amazing online friends, i feel sad at what im missing sometimes but No i just can,t open my waves to any horrible person. Just do not want it.
I have twitter and for me for now its enough.
Sarah you speak from the heart and for that i thank you for saying what i could not.

Instead of telling "girls" to get a thicker skin, maybe folks with a limited worldview should get a thicker skin about people expressing the desire to be equal and not be harassed.

Sarah, I do agree with your words and actions. And as you I don´t like the pwning part of the videos message. Gaming/playing is about fun, and the best fun I feel is gaming together, helping each other out and giving newbys space to evolve into nice combatants. No matter race, sex or anything else. Strange woman who said the last part... :(

I'd be curious about the ages involved. I wonder if the male half of the newest generation of gamers are more or less likely to be dicks since that group is increasingly more female.

When I had an xbox I never went online. There are entirely too many dicks out there, and while I'm sure I missed some really awesome people, the bad element made it so not worth it.

When playing MMORPG's and I find out someone is a woman, my first thought is "That's awesome, women gamers rock." My second thought was then to carry on with what I or we were doing before I found out.

I can kinda agree with the video, the only part I have problem with is "pwn n00bs". Don't like that mentality from anyone really.

As for women in the military I can't really see why not, and why not in a combatant role. They want to be there and want to be part of it all, not just some of it. I had many female collegues that I would trust my life to when I did my service. Well, many is perhaps an exaggeration because there were few of them to begin with, but you get my point.

Yes, I can agree that women by biological design is weaker and lighter then a man and this could pose a problem in certain situations. But the women you find in the military are often well trained to a level where it doesn't matter if they were weaker (then an avarage man) to begin with. They faced a problem, dealt with it and so should deserve an equal chance to perform their duty as they wish.

I understand your desire to defend women in the military (I share it) but this discussion shouldn't be about that.

I'm so glad I got rid of comments.

Clotting factors?? What the hell, Internet!?

Shhh, it's all ok. We're in a safe space. ::hugs::

*grins* OK. It'll all be OK. OK. *rocks back and forth*

Well, there are significant gender differences in clotting. Pregnancy greatly increases the risk of clotting related illnesses, such as Pulmonary embolisms or strokes. As such, women who have given birth in the past month make poor soldiers.
Hemophilia is also only found on the X chromosome, greatly skewing the gender ratio of sufferers.
Oh, wait, that means women are far *less* like to be hemophiliacs...

With the comments you posted above, I have to wonder if the guy was really that sexist or if he was simply trolling. Maybe I'm naive, but I find it hard to believe anyone can be so ignorant and post about it. They've got to be doing it for kicks.

Even if I agreed with your argument (and I don't), I find it to be a distinction without a difference. As a counterpoint to your argument, there are conservative Christians (among other religions) who do believe and use the phrases used in those comments. Your ability to believe that doesn't make their existence any less true.

I definitely don't understand the need for people to post ridiculous and inappropriate messages on anyone's forums, posts, or blogs...

My reason for posting though is more that a the top of the page you basically say "when someone is racist/sexist/what-have-you, then CALL THEM OUT"... now i think you are talking about friends, peers, co-workers, fellow gamers... people who you can call out and then have a legitimate, mature conversation with... certainly not necessarily the trolls and jerks that only post to accounts to be difficult... but by just deleting or blocking those accounts and those comments aren't you letting those people get away with it? Especially to find out that one or more of the posters may be game designers, and that you have friends that may know or work with him/her, or that someday you may be asked to work with him/her... that worries me and I know I would want to call them out and either set them straight or let them dig themselves a bigger hole from which others in the community might see them in a different light.

That said, I totally understand that it is not your job nor your responsibility to police the internet or leave inappropriate comments on your sites... but as much I like what you are saying about the Gamer Girl's Manifesto and Wheaton's "Don't Be a Dick", and I subscribe wholeheartedly that that movement, it kind of feels like we are letting those jerks continue to be jerks... but just know we got your back and there are a lot more people supporting the growth and maturity of the gaming world than there are those trying to trash it and bring us all back to the stone ages.

- Josh

There are many ways to call someone out on stuff. It's true. I could have left the comments there and we could have had a big internet argument right there. But then that G+ post would have become focused on conservative Christianity, women in the military, and anything else people decided to bring to the women's equality discussion. But, that's not what my post or the video were about and I have a feeling that original message would have been lost.

I also feel, and people may disagree, that different people can and should be called out in different ways. In my estimation, blocking the person and not allowing him or her to use my platform and my amplification for those views suits the situation. Furthermore, the statements about policing my space was a call out to that person, one he or she chose to ignore.

I didn't include the account name in this post because I didn't want this post to be centered around that person and I was hoping to not create a situation where people who like me feel the need to harass someone else. Instead, I wanted to provide proof to the larger community that this stuff does indeed happen and that this is an example of the behavior I often talk about.

Oh the Internet and it's growing casual misogyny. It started with the ironic "make me a sammich" line, a mockery of the stupidity of sexism and spiraled out of control cause some d-bags don't get satire.
It's sad videos like this are even needed.

A player in my 4e Homegame ran my Warcraft guild and led us on Raids, and was a girl. Great player and fun person. "Girl" used in this case because she was <25.

I live in a town with an army base. I do NOT belong on a battlefield. Or on a field adjacent to a battlefield. But I've met women who do. Went to school with a 45yo vet who could kick my ass (on her worst day and on my best).

No body should look down on anyone. If a woman wants to stay home that is her choice. It is up to every family to make that decision for themselves. It really all boils down to what each person believes and nobody has that right to infringe upon that.

Thanks for reposting that!!!
I love this blog and this post really resonated with me on a personal level. I am very lucky in that I grew up very close to my sister and as a result was very much used to sharing/playing/helping my lil' sis out all thru our childhood. When we were in Middle School, I remember my mentor and the 8th grade teacher telling us during a seminar class that guys are trained to ignore what women say, often times talking right over them. Every time one of the boys did this, they were punished by having to crumple up newspapers with their hands out to the side in front of the glass. It was a brutal torture for sure, and it always stuck with me.
People say she was a tomboy but I prefer not to put so much stock into gender titles and such. I am very lucky that I have a 'girl gamer' wife, one who will play DnD with me, help me out with bosses when I'm playing Dark Souls or on my Xbox and the like. She was a hardcore WoW geek, and sold her chars for hundreds of dollars!
We're also going to have our first child, a baby girl! I can't wait to raise lil' Marceline up without all the gender-trappings of my youth. Because they are stupid and detrimental. No Disney princess bullshit, all Studio Ghibli female leads all the way.
tldr version; Stop being a misogynist dick and pigeonholing half the population into gender roles that are traditionally very detrimental to society and humanity as a whole. Stop setting back women's liberation with your foul, phallo-centric brainwashed comments, you're not proving your point is right, only that you're an idiot. trollololololol

I'm a conservative Christian, and I'm not a sexist, nor are the vast majority of conservative Christians. Please refrain from implying otherwise just because we recognize the incontrovertible fact that there are both physical and psychological differences between the genders and thus there are certain roles each is better at performing than the other*. Or do your rules about etiquette not apply to people whose worldviews you don't tolerate? I'm not trying to start a big argument, but seriously, cut it out.

* Not that I'm saying women shouldn't be in the military or anything like that, which I'm not; that last bit was more aimed at certain other commenters here, not the original post's author.

Well etiquette would dictate that you shouldn't call something an uncontrovertible fact when it's highly debated and there are a number of studies that point both ways on the matter. So, I might suggest that you cut it out yourself.

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