What happens when you engage - Epilogue


Sarah Darkmagic - Posted on 15 January 2017

I debated intensely whether or not to write this but I think it's important to point out the full ramifications of what happens when people, especially those from marginalized groups, speak up.

For those of you who don't know, I spent pretty much all of 2016 out of gaming due to my pregnancy and then being one of two primary caregivers of a little person. In 2015, I had a few things going on when combined with the stress of what happened in 2014 meant it made more sense for me to take a step back from writing about gaming and doing other fun things, like coloring or reading. Most if not all of it still had a tabletop RPG angle to it and I continued on with the Tome Show although at a reduced frequency in 2016 because, well, pregnancy and then caring for a little one.

However, now that the little one is nearing 6 months, I'd like to get back into writing about games and maybe even designing again. I decide to poke my head out a bit and what do I find but this.

Content: I could also really understand how even women on this side of the insanity spectrum from Tracey Hurley would still find some of this material offensive. Not that I think "offensive" is a valid reason for "should not exist". Just, I could get people thinking some of the material here is really stupid, be it or practical or personal reasons.

Which is a pity, because the parts that aren't just smut for its own sake are usually pretty creative.

Not only is the quoted part in the review of a product I had nothing to do with and had not said anything about (I didn't even know of its existence), he used it to publicize his post in a number of gaming groups on social media, at least on G+. He falsely attributes opinions to me and then uses those false attributions to make the claim that I'm on the other "side of the insanity spectrum," whatever that's supposed to mean. At this point it's no longer about my opinions, but about me.

And all of this happened about a year and a half after my last "What happens when you engage post." And with the exception of my recent post highlighting someone I think draws pretty awesome maps, over a year since my last blog post. I also haven't been on G+ or Twitter much given everything going on.

I bring this up because many people said if I just ignored him, that it would stop. They said that it wasn't abuse because he was just responding to my current posts and it being the internet, what did I expect? But he has continued well past then. At what point will we see him for who he truly is? I get that he could just be baiting me into another fight that does nothing but feed his ego, but I think it's also important to point out that regardless of his motivations, this abuse is happening. And I'm far from the only one he targets.

This isn't someone trying to refute my ideas. This is someone who is convinced that I am "[a] person trying to put extreme ideological demands on this hobby.” More specifically, he believes I serve some sort of threat to the existence of OSR. Even though I have highlighted and will continue to highlight OSR blogs and products that I personally find useful or interesting. Even though the community appears to be thriving. Even though I talk up some OSR community members in my gaming friend groups. All the things he falsely claims that I am doing, he actually does.

I'm heartened to see people stand up to him, especially people who are no fans of what I write. If you want to disagree with me, that's great. But this abuse needs to stop.

Send feedback using the contact form or through twitter, @sarahdarkmagic.

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